Girl, Rottweiler, Q and A 2

Now Moses and I have decided to start answering questions about Rottweilers, Espresso, and other things that are commonly asked of bloggers  (neither of us knows what this means so we are working on it). Moses will answer to the best of his little puppy ability, and I will answer as a Rottweiler geek. All questions are considered (within reasonable boundaries) and if I can't answer them I will come up with a clever answer that can be debated by scientists for years on what it's purpose is. All answers are my own personal opinions, or Moses' and are from our experiences  They are in no way affiliated with the coffee shop, the Humane Society of the United States, or any other organization or peoples who know more then we do. Just type a question into the comment boxes, and I will try to respond within the two week time period that Moses is superimposing on me.
Second Question: I heard Rottweilers are hard to train, are they?

Kbgroot: Well no, but yes? Moses was very easy to train. So yes he was easy to train. Will he obey his training? Depends on how he feels at the time. Moses can sit, lie down, roll over, stay, and come. He does these things most successfully with treats. If you dont have a treat the likelihood that he will do these things is next to none. He is stubborn and thinks his own way is the best way (think a teenager) we are hoping that when he hits two he will be a obedient adult. Cheers to dreaming!

Moses: *Blank look* I follow food, not directions.

Girl, Rottweiler, List

Found something delicious!

Now as many dog owners know, food is one of the best ways to get said dogs attention. Moses (stereotypical rottweiler that he is) enjoys nothing else then chewing and swallowing whatever is in his path. While this means that the puppy never goes hungry it also means he smells terrible for days. Releasing what we owners call "the winds of death" from his backside and aiding global warming. Moses being a Rottweiler had the fault of eating everything.
We will start a list.
Top 20 things Rottweiler puppies eat!
1. My roommates empty chip bag. Left in her garbage
2. Empty sushi container
3. Building materials - concrete is a favorite of the Rottweiler puppy shorty followed by drywall
4. Dead things - haven't found many yet, but the dead bird in the backyard added so much wonder.
5. Rotten Grapes - from the backyard.
6. Basketball shells - we were extremely displeased with this as it meant I had to by a new basket ball.
7. Plants - oh my the plants! Drag them through the house set them on the bed, drag the dirt through the hall. So fun it is
8. Brother's old shoes - Not my shoes, not my mother's shoes, but my brothers shoe. They must have a distinct smell.
9. Tissue paper - absconded with from the garbage, normally distributed in itty-bitty pieces throughout the bathroom.
10. Toilet paper rolls - chewed into gerbil sized confetti
11. Tangerines - we are not sure how or why but stolen from the neighbors kitchen and inhaled so we could not get it back.
12. Pine cones - another quandary into the how and whys? Where was another reason here as it was apparently in our basement where he could get it.
13. Stuffed animals - none are safe, the amputees limbs are found in the most interesting places, their innards flung throughout the living room
14. Sticks - while most dogs chew sticks, Mo feels it is best that he not even let the stick try and get away.
15. Tennis balls- I think it used to be a ball, I'm not sure though.
16. Cardboard boxes- the bane of any existence  the worlds most fearsome foe, the only thing standing between a puppy and conquering the world! Torn to shreds in self defense.
17. Plastic Flower pots- make a great crinkling noise when they are torn to bits and hidden in the backyard.
18. My Volleyball - making me very angry, apparently being hit with said volleyball four times causes it to be an enemy that must be destroyed.
19. Muffin Wrappers - found at the coffee shops trash can then distributed to the coffee shops floor adding an extra five minutes of work time for me as I try to sweep it up.
20. Duct Tape - the sticky side is just as fun as the silver side.... which means more mess

Moses chewing on shoe, Vahan laying down.

So many things for a puppy to destroy. In every puppy book they tell people to hide the wires, hide the chemicals, take the plants off the floor, to make sure the puppy could not get to anything that could give him problems. Those books obviously were dealing with less puppy genius than Moses, for no matter where you hide something he will find it and destroy it.

Girl, Rottweiler, Comparison

The first three pictures are what I like to call "The Evolution of Moses Sleeping on Red Couch"

 Mo at four months

Mo at Six Months

Mo at Seven Months

The Next Set of Four is what I call "The Evolution of Mo Sleeping on My Bed" I like this set best as it describes the human male journey from child to teenager...

 Mo at Two months

 Mo at four months

 Mo at six months

 Mo at six months ten seconds later...

This next collection is the most varied of the four collections... I call it "Mo sleeping on the floor".

 Mo at four months

 Mo at six months

The final Collection of pictures is "Baby Moses!"

Sorry it wasn't a story today, but I hope you enjoyed the pictures of Moses! 

Girl, Rottweiler, Bath

Bath's are peaceful. But today I learned something, and I would like to share it with you as a math equation.
Moses + Bathroom + Me in bath = bruises and wet dog.

Looks Yummy! I try?

The bathroom in the house I live in is orange, not a burnt orange, no that color that is somewhere between neon and tangerine. It was obviously decorated with multipatterned dragonflies in lime and hot pink. The ugly white tile screams up at one while that person glances with loathing down at the dirt. There is two sinks and across from them is the bathtub. The bathtub is absurdly large for a basement bathroom, more of something seen in larger houses. It has jets and could easily fit a man of six feet.
Our story begins.
Getting home from the coffee shop means three things to my wonderful female self: One is a bath. Two is sleep, Three is food. Now as obviously I do not eat in my sleep in means most often I forgo number three. Parking my Volkswagen Beetle is a snap and getting Moses out of the car always seems to slow me down on the way to the delicious hot water that will ease my feet and make me feel human again. I drag Moses to the gate as he begs to go see the next door neighbors dogs, open the gate, let him off leash, and watch as he mopes for a mere forty five seconds.
Entering the house through the backdoor it's a straight shot down the stairs from the door, turning right twice I enter the bathroom.
Stripping takes no time at all, I have perfected what I like to call "Turn on water with foot while taking off shirt maneuver" Bath's are that wonderful.
Moses enters the bathroom with me and lays down on that ever increasing pile of laundry (less big now I have a roommate).
I have never tested my bathwater like I test my shower water, so I launch myself into the bathtub and hop out with a burnt foot. Obviously the water needs to cool some.
Moses laughs.
I growl at him.

I see you water! Water splashed! 

We turn back into our respective species and I wait for the water to get to the correct temperature. When it does I grin and step back into the most wonderful creation in all the world (besides Word programs).
As I sit down, the black master of stealth, manages to peak his head over the bathtub and stare at me.
What are you doing? Is it fun?
"Moses, dont you dare!" I need to stop thinking that dogs and humans can understand one another.
Moses gives me a patronizing look and he bounces. I cringe and close my eyes imagining my stomach being hit by 80 lbs of Rottweiler. The hit does not come. Whip whip whip SLLUUURRRPPP. I look up to see Moses with his paws dangling over the edge of the tub his face in the water. Normally he licks it from the faucet but today he felt like experimenting.
I glare, wasting the precious eye movement on a puppy yet again. I sigh and move my feet. I watch Moses suddenly hyper focus.
"What's wrong?" I move again
Moses' head follows my movment.
Experimentally, I whoosh my foot across the top of the water.
Moses swings his head back and forth noticing (I assume) what he believes is a drowning foot.
Everything happens instantly.

My phone on the sink vibrates, I pull my foot back, and Moses launches himself into the bathtub.
I cough and stare at the puppy, trying to pull my foot out of the water.
His nose is completly submerged and he is trying to get his head down far enough to eat my foot.
"What are you doing?"
Moses continues to face plant for my foot.
I sigh, bath's are not as peaceful as I remember.